What I Have Lived For— —Russell

Bertrand Arthur William Russell

Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.

I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy — -ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next because it relieves loneliness — -that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought if, finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what — -at last — -I have found.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.

Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a hated burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.

This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.

我为什么而活着?
[英]罗素

三种单纯然而极其强烈的激情支配着我的一生。那就是对于爱情的渴望,对于知识的追求,以及对于人类苦难痛彻肺腑的怜悯。这些激情犹如狂风,把我伸展到绝望 边缘的深深的苦海上东抛西掷,使我的生活没有定向。

我追求爱情,首先因为它叫我消魂。爱情使人消魂的魅力使我常常乐意为了几小时这样的快乐而牺牲生活中的 其他一切。我追求爱情,又因为它减轻孤独感--那种一个颤抖的灵魂望着世界边缘之外冰冷而无生命的无底深渊时所感到的可怕的孤独。 我追求爱情,还因为 爱的结合使我在一种神秘的缩影中提前看到了圣者和诗人曾经想像过的天堂。这就是我所追求的,尽管人的生活似乎还不配享有它,但它毕竟是我终于找到的东西。

我以同样的热情追求知识,我想理解人类的心灵,我想了解星辰为何灿烂,我还试图弄懂毕达哥拉斯学说的力量,是这种力量使我在无常之上高踞主宰地位。我在这方面略有成就,但不多。

爱情和知识只要存在,总是向上导往天堂。但是,怜悯又总是把我带回人间。痛苦的呼喊在我心中反响回荡,孩子们受饥荒煎熬,无辜者被压迫者折 磨,孤弱无助的老人在自己的儿子眼中变成可恶的累赘,以及世上触目皆是的孤独、贫困和痈苦--这些都是对人类应该过的生活的嘲弄。我渴望能减少罪恶,可我 做不到,于是我感到痛苦。

这就是我的一生。我觉得这一生是值得活的,如果真有可能再给我一次机会,我将欣然再重活 — 次。

方舟子译版

有三种简单然而无比强烈的激情左右了我的一生:对爱的渴望,对知识的探索和对人类苦难的难以忍受的怜悯。这些激情象飓风,无处不在、反复无常地吹拂着我,吹过深重的苦海,濒于绝境。

我寻找爱,首先是因为它使人心醉神迷,这种陶醉是如此的美妙,使我愿意牺牲所有的余生去换取几个小时这样的欣喜。我寻找爱,还因为它解除孤独,在可怕的孤独中,一颗颤抖的灵魂从世界的边缘看到冰冷、无底、死寂
的深渊。最后,我寻找爱,还因为在爱的交融中,神秘而又具体而微地,我看到了圣贤和诗人们想象出的天堂的前景。这就是我所寻找的,而且,虽然对人生来说似乎过于美妙,这也是我终于找到了的。

以同样的激情我探索知识。我希望能够理解人类的心灵。我希望能够知道群星为何闪烁。我试图领悟毕达哥拉斯所景仰的数字力量,它支配着此消彼涨。仅在不大的一定程度上,我达到了此目的。

爱和知识,只要有可能,通向着天堂。但是怜悯总把我带回尘世。痛苦呼喊的回声回荡在我的内心。忍饥挨饿的孩子,惨遭压迫者摧残的受害者,被儿女们视为可憎的负担的无助的老人,连同这整个充满了孤独、贫穷和痛苦
的世界,使人类所应有的生活成为了笑柄。我渴望能够减少邪恶,但是我无能为力,而且我自己也在忍受折磨。

这就是我的一生。我发现它值得一过。如果再给我一次机会,我会很高兴地再活它一次。

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自由撰稿人,时评人,平等公义追求者

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